Feline Dream

Taken with Instagram at Oor Bit

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:26:50 +0000

Taken with Instagram at Oor Bit

In other news

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 22:09:00 +0000

In reference to recent musings concerning the direction of my blog I have made a decision. I’ll be posting musing on education, my PhD and all manner of associated issues on Scots Whit?.

Balance

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 22:30:25 +0000

I have written, and deleted, a post on division of labour: specifically in terms of housekeeping/childcare within families where both parents work. Why did I delete it? Well, it came across like a pity party for one.

To give you a bit of background: I work full time in an emotionally draining environment, sometimes I have to bring work home but it’s not the norm; my husband works full time (and then some), in a job which not only requires him to work at home in the evening but calls for frequent trips to London; we have two children who attend primary school as well as breakfast and after school clubs. In our family I am the sole driver so I take the children to breakfast club in the morning, pick them up from aftercare in the evening (also due to the fact that I finish work considerably earlier than my husband) and ferry them around to the various clubs, lessons and parties that they attend. I also do the majority of the homework, housework (though by no means all of it) and shopping.

A recent Twitter comment got me thinking: have we fallen into the trap of socialised gender roles? I’m not sure that this is a question I can answer.

Instead I pose another question—is it possible to find balance? Were my husband to play a greater role in homemaking, his share of the load would be far greater than mine. He doesn’t work longer hours because he is a man; he works longer hours because that is what his job demands. I don’t cook the dinner because it’s my wifely responsibility: I do it because I’m home in time to do it. Were we to share the homemaking evenly, would I be tucked up in bed while he’s still at the washing-up until the wee small hours?

It would seem that gender has little to do with it, and yet it still feels like the work/life balance is unequal. The children are not my responsibility; they are our responsibility. His job commands so much of his time that I am scared he is missing important events and experiences in our children’s lives. Thinking back to my own childhood, this was an accepted part of family life. The man was the breadwinner and often missed school and extra curricular events due to work commitments. This isn’t helped in our case by the fact that the vast majority of school events take place during normal working hours, rather than in the evening when we could both attend.

Have things really changed so little, or are my perceptions skewed by our respective choice of career (and a school which seems to assume parents are out of work)?

When life becomes a little overwhelming I run. In a break from my normal routine, I’ve...

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:36:54 +0000

When life becomes a little overwhelming I run. In a break from my normal routine, I’ve stepped off the treadmill and out into the real world. Scotland isn’t exactly known for it’s stunning weather but I’m finding that this suits me. So far I have run in the cold, the wind and the (torrential) rain. Today I ran in the fog. It felt like the end of the world. I shrugged off all preoccupations and all expectations and ran (not very fast) until my legs felt like lead and my breath ripped out in rags. Tonight I feel better; sore, but better.

I used to write. When I was at school I had notebooks overflowing with teenage angst ridden poetry,...

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:59:29 +0100

I used to write. When I was at school I had notebooks overflowing with teenage angst ridden poetry, sections from novels never completed and cliched short stories. My notebooks went everywhere with me and I would spend hours a day pouring both head and heart onto the paper. I would never claim to be an outstanding writer but I enjoyed it. University changed that for me. Studying literature meant that the hours I spent crafting were quickly taken over by pulling apart the work of others. I lost the motivation for creating anything of my own and so I ceased to write fiction. Academic writing took over and after I completed my undergraduate degree I undertook postgraduate research. My MPhil ended 7 years ago but the urge to write never returned. As the PhD rapidly approaches I’m becoming excited about the reading and the research but the writing terrifies me.

Now I teach young people how to write. I expose them to a variety of literature; from bog standard school faire like Of Mice and Men and Romeo and Juliet, to less well travelled (in a secondary school context) work such as Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere, Iain Banks’ The Wasp Factory and an array of graphic novels. I guide them through a maze of vocabulary, grammar and literary techniques while urging them to avoid pitfalls which, too frequently, pepper my own writing.

Today I am asking myself if I am really qualified to do this?

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:57:35 +0100

Another week, another school holiday. I’m hoping that this time I’ll manage to avoid...

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:00:42 +0100

Another week, another school holiday. I’m hoping that this time I’ll manage to avoid the lurgy and get to spend time doing fun things with the children. The past few weeks have sped by in a blur of work and little people. In between I am reading and watching trashy American TV.

So, what of the PhD I hear you ask? I received an offer letter a few weeks ago and will begin in January. I’m still debating whether or not I should start a new blog to chart my progress in that endeavour, but until that happens…

In an return to purpose I have been baking again. Ginger loaf has become an obsession of mine and I have yet to find, what I think of, as a definitive recipe. This week’s attempt came from an article by Nigel Slater which I stumbled upon. It’s a very light cake which tastes great, I’m just not convinced it had the depth of flavour I was looking for. I’ll just need to sample another piece.

In praise of my children

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 18:24:27 +0100

For the last 3 days (and judging by the way I’m feeling right now there’s more to come) I have been confined to my sick bed. This is strange because I’m never really, seriously ill. Unfortunately this has coincided with the September weekend. The kids and I had plans to do ‘stuff’ during this, the first of the school holidays. Instead they have been looking after themselves to some extent. I half expected it to go all Lord of the Flies but they have really surprised me. Instead they have entertained themselves through den building, imaginative play, board games, TV and movies. They have been kind and considerate and, for the most part, have played well together. I feel monumentally guilty about not spending quality time with them this weekend but I’m so proud of the way they have coped with me being ill.

The waiting game

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 20:03:02 +0100

I’m still waiting to hear back from university regarding my PhD and I’m starting to get nervous. I’m in a state of limbo; finding it difficult to focus on anything in particular while I await a decision. Luckily I have something wonderful to occupy my time.

I always said I didn’t really want a Kindle but, living in a small flat, the pile of books beside my bed, in the living room, in the cupboard, was beginning to get a bit much. Since this rather wonderful gift from my husband I have been doing a lot of this:

I’m finding that my obsession with ‘trash’ literature is waining and I’m enjoying trawling through some classics. Having completed a literature degree, and being an English teacher, I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t read widely in a great many genres. The Kindle is helping me to over come this. I have to get my trash fix somewhere though and have become addicted to BBC Three.

Times they are a changing

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 21:35:09 +0100

You may have noticed a period of absence on my part. This was deliberate. Rather than life getting in the way, which is so often the case chez moi, I’ve been planning and plotting *insert maniacal giggling* a change in direction. I’m still cooking and baking, now more than ever, but I no longer have the urge to blog about it in detail. However, there is something on the horizon; something exciting and life changing. The PhD application was submitted at the beginning of August and I’m awaiting a decision as to whether or not I’ll be embarking on this monumental undertaking in the near future. This is something I am passionate about. Something I want to blog about. Something I want to document. And so I have a decision to make: to continue with this blog or to start anew. I’m in two minds about it because I’ve become attached to the felinedream persona but I’m also ready to break away from that part of my life and face new challenges.

I leave you with a picture of another new challenge. Yes, that’s right, my youngest child started school this year.

Photo

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 23:37:31 +0100

Highlights

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 14:12:17 +0100

Thank goodness it’s the weekend. It’s strange; as I’m on holiday the fact that it’s the weekend doesn’t make a difference per se, it’s just nice to have the husband around to help out and give me a little break. The kids are away tonight so we’re going out (and what a fabulous evening it will be). Something that made this week that little bit easier was the meal planning. I didn’t spend a huge amount of time in the kitchen but managed to prepared home cooked meals all week. I even put the slow cooker on to make chilli which I froze for tomorrow’s dinner (because I know we wont feel like cooking after being out this evening).

This is my favourite dish of the week: homemade carrot and coriander soup with parmesan and sun dried tomato rolls (I bought a bread mix but did the whole kneading/rising/baking myself).

Sticky pork with rice and greens. I surprised myself by cooking the pork properly, even though I’d never cooked it before, and it tasted great. I think next time, and the family insist that there’s a next time, I’m make extra marinade to use as sauce because rice by itself is a little dry.

Last night was linguine with chorizo and rocket. I’d run out of lemons and didn’t realise until I was half way through cooking and I think this affected overall flavour. However, it was still easy to cook and pretty tasty. The kids complained about “the green stuff” and Devin wasn’t happy because he thought the chorizo wasn’t as nice as usual. I’m undecided if this will go in the “make again” pile.

However, this lamb dish will definitely be in the “never make again” pile. It was based on a James Martin dish where the lamb was marinated in lemon juice, garlic and rosemary before being cooked. I ended up having to give the children cereal because they refused to eat it. I ate it, but only because I was being stubborn about not wasting anything. I must remember that I don’t really like lamb.

I still have a glut of food in the freezer, so this week I’m going to try to plan meals around it. This will be much easier as I don’t have to cook for husband this week (and he really is very fussy).

Sunny Days

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 20:23:08 +0100

Scotland is having a break from the rain so we’re making the most of it. I’m exhausted, my poor little celtic body isn’t used to this heat. Still, we’ve been slapping on the factor 30 and heading to the outdoor swimming pool and the local park as much as possible.

Brodie and I had a girlie day yesterday; a trip to the cinema to see Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue in the morning followed by an afternoon in the park. I really like our local park; in addition to the play park, hidden garden and animals there is a mini train which runs on weekends. We pottered around, and before I knew it, over 2 hours had passed.

Today was officially the first day of the holidays. I’m knackered. The kids had a sports class at the gym this morning while I went for a run. Then we headed into the outdoor pool for an hour before lunch and an afternoon at the park with friends. Then it was back to the gym for their basketball class. I hope they sleep well tonight.

This week I have been menu planning in an attempt to cut down on the shopping bill and wasted food. I’ve planned out lunch and dinner for the week and written a shopping list so that I only buy what is needed. Tonight was the rest of the home made burgers that I made and froze last week. I’ve relied heavily on Good Food magazine to try and introduce a few new ingredients into our diets. In particular, I’m looking forward to Thursday night’s lamb and rosemary skewers. We don’t eat a lot of meat and I never cook with lamb so it’ll be interesting to see how this meal is received. The skewers are served with aubergine; wonder how I’ll get that particular vegetable past the kids?

Grinning from ear to ear.

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 16:05:49 +0100

I’m on holiday. The children don’t finish school/nursery until Friday. Yes, that’s right; I have a whole week to myself.

However, I am apparently incapable of sitting on my bottom and doing nothing. I have a certain PhD application to be getting on with but I haven’t even got that far yet. Yesterday flew past in a blur of gyming it (my legs hurt today) and doing the food shopping. What was different was the evening. Usually it’s a mad rush on a Monday to feed the kids before taking them to the gym for classes while I work out. When we get home at 7 there’s not even time for a story before bed. Last night I was able to relax with a coffee while they had fun playing Basketball, before coming home for a light supper which I had already prepared and a couple of chapters of James and the Giant Peach. They even went to bed without a fight, which is virtually unheard of. Tonight they have Badminton. I went for a swim this morning so once again I’ll be able to relax for an hour in the cafe. I’ve spent the day in the kitchen making flapjacks (for the first time), Annabel Karmel’s Hidden Vegetable Pasta Sauce (frozen for future use), burgers (some for tonight’s dinner and some frozen) and a Lemon Syrup Loaf Cake for hubby’s birthday tomorrow. I may have mentioned that I love my job but it often leaves me feeling like I’m not the mother I want to be. Right now I feel like I can give them my all. This is why I work so hard during the year; so that I can enjoy this time with them. This week will be ace because I’m doing things for myself, like getting my hair done tomorrow, but I’m really looking forward to the kids breaking up on Friday so that I can share all of this with them.

Another week

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 16:32:04 +0100

I hear a lot of people criticise the teaching profession; saying we work short hours and have too many holidays. I often wonder if they are right. Even though I work full time, I am still free to take my children to various lessons and classes after school. How many working parents can actually do that? I also don’t have to worry about childcare during the holidays because I am the childcare. It’s one of the reasons I love my job; I can work full time and not feel guilty about the lack of quality time I spend with my children. However, I am suffering for this. I feel like an empty shell; it’s all work, kids, work, kids. There isn’t enough time and I do find myself working evenings, weekends and holidays already. Last night I fell asleep at 7.30pm and woke up at 9am this morning. To say I’m exhausted would be an understatement. Despite this I need to rediscover myself and after a lot of soul searching, the PhD application is going ahead. This past week has been spent researching, writing and sorting some things out. I still haven’t completed my application but I have a very long to-do list. Something that excited me more than it probably should have done was looking through my university notes and books and realising that I remember far more than I thought. I even have books adorning my increasingly cluttered desk now.

The other highlight of the week has been a return to baking. A friend’s birthday midweek resulted in a birthday cake created from my normal chocolate cupcake recipe. There may have been fights in the staff room over the last slice of cake. Friday night has become Fajita Friday in our house because by the end of the week I’m often craving home cooked food and fajitas are about all I have the energy to create. I even had the foresight to prepare tonight’s dinner of slow cooked chilli last night. I have saved the best for last because this morning Brodie and I made banana bread. Brodie loves the stuff, as they have it for snack at nursery a lot, but I had never made it before. Mashing up bananas was the perfect bakery task for a 4 year old with too much energy. We used a recipe from the Hummingbird Bakery cookbook (which I’ve noted down below) and it was amazing. You could add nuts or chocolate to the bread but I liked the simplicity of it. We’ve already eaten half the loaf.

Banana Loaf

Makes 8-10 slices

Ingredients
270g soft light brown sugar
2 eggs
200g peeled bananas, mashed
280g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
140g unsalted butter, melted

A 23 x 13-cm loaf tin, greased and dusted with flour

Preheat the oven to 170oC/325oF/Gas 3.

Put the sugar and eggs in a freestanding electric mixer with a paddle attachment and beat until well incorporated. Beat in the mashed bananas.

Add the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, cinnamon and ginger to the sugar mixture. Mix it thoroughly until all the dry ingredients have been incorporated into the egg mixture. Pour in the melted butter and beat until all the ingredients are well mixed.

Pour the mixture into the prepared loaf tin and smooth over with a palette knife. Bake in the preheated oven for about 1 hour, or until firm to the touch and a skewer inserted in the centre comes out clean. Leave the cake to cool slightly in the tin before turning out onto a wire cooling rack to cool completely.

Taking a leaf out of Emma's book

Sun, 29 May 2011 20:46:40 +0100

Despite assurances and promises I have continued to neglect my blog. I wondered if this was because nothing of note was happening in my life of late but actually it’s because the majority of things that I want to write about, I can’t. I am generally preoccupied with work related things; things which I either can’t or wont talk about in a public space. Instead I am taking a leaf out of Emma’s book. Every week she updates with a summary of her week (you should all go and read it because she is an inspiration). I warn you, this week is pretty sparse in terms of news.

* I don’t seem to have the energy to focus on reading a book at the moment but I have reignited my interest in what was once alternative culture. I’m also failing miserably at curbing my Starbuck’s obsession.

* Brodie graduated from nursery this week. She looked so small among the 30 or so leavers in her “class”. I nearly shed a tear because this marks the end of my kids’ time at nursery. Devin started there when he was 2 and Brodie started when she was 13 weeks. Having a chat with the staff has been part of my life for years and I’m really going to miss them. Luckily we still have time to get used to the idea as Brodie doesn’t finish up until August.

* I’ve been back in the kitchen - with near disastrous results. Last week’s lemon and blueberry tray bake looked and tasted amazing but wasn’t cooked all the way through (boo). Tonight I made lasagne using a ragu done overnight in the slow cooker. It was edible but the recipe definitely needs tweaking. The kids didn’t really like it which I think was down to the veg in the ragu and my excessive use of cheese. I was, however, impressed with my first attempt at béchamel sauce which was very tasty.

bloginhell: MIH: MINI MOVIE/COMMERCIAL: Staring Ian Watkins and...

Thu, 05 May 2011 21:43:32 +0100

bloginhell:

MIH: MINI MOVIE/COMMERCIAL: Staring Ian Watkins and Bori Mischief.

Back to baking

Sun, 17 Apr 2011 12:08:40 +0100

Much as I enjoying baking, I don’t have much confidence in my skills (beyond Mum’s chocolate cake). Every time I flick through Rachel Allen’s Bake I stopped at the Red Velvet Cake but always considered it too complicated. Yesterday I bit the bullet and gave it a go. The cake itself wasn’t half as difficult as I expected; I think the long list of ingredients had scared me off. The cake was moist and rich and perfectly cooked. However, the icing was a bit of a disaster. I’m not entirely sure what the icing was supposed to be like but it turned out like grainy marshmallow. Thinking back, I know that I didn’t heat the mixture for long enough while whisking so the sugar didn’t dissolve properly and the icing stayed gooey rather than hardening. I think next time I would make a cream cheese icing instead so that the sharpness complimented the rich cake. Despite the flaws, this is, without doubt, the most impressive looking cake I have ever made. Go me!

The morning after

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 11:24:58 +0100

There are mornings when you wake up, bleary eyed, after a night with friends and find all sorts of photos on your phone. I guess it could be worse, although I am struggling to work out how I was lying when I took the above photo.

Saturday night: I attended a penthouse party to celebrate the fabulous Eileen turning 30. I presented her with a gift of La Creuset heart shaped ramekins (surely this is what every 30 year old wants?). I drank rather a lot of long vodkas and then I left early. I was woken up the next morning, mercifully hangover free, with a shout of “Mum, Brodie’s drawing on the walls with lipstick”. By Monday, I was still exhausted. When did I get too old for this?

Boing!!

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 19:35:51 +0100

It’s amazing the memories evoked by an album.

Once upon a time there was a girl, who moved to a new place and met a boy. They became friends and one day the boy gave the girl some flowers and asked if she wanted to be more than friends. For the next 6 months they were virtually inseparable. Then her dad got another job and she was moving again. Despite only being 13, girl and boy (who was 15) decided to stay together. They wrote long letters, using multi-coloured fountain pens and various shades of paper, charting the mundane reality of their separate lives as well as picking names for their future children. They sprayed the fabric straps of their PopSwatches with body spray (Impulse and Lynx) and exchanged them during brief weekend visits, to try and prolong the memory of each other. However, after less than a year girl and boy drifted apart and decided to end things. Girl never forgot her first love. (They are now friends on Facebook)